The 08

So, right now I'm in Cambridge having spent 8 lovely and restoring days with my dear momma. It's amazing how one can become so homesick for a person and a feeling. Nothing quite compares to being able to bare your soul with tears and have warm arms embrace you. It's comfort like I haven't known in 6 months.

I'm sitting here like a scared little girl. At the beginning of each year I generally have a feeling about what's to come. 2007 was so amazing I didn't get a chance to step back and prepare for the future. I arrived in Cambridge not really knowing what day it was and became shocked when Becca mentioned New Year's Eve plans. I was jolted awake, I suppose. 2006 was not a fun year save my first venture outside of the U.S. and the odd independence granted me through house sitting every now and again. I looked forward to 2007 so much. When the clock struck midnight amongst our little group fleeing the sulfuric smells of a natural hot water pool in Aspen, I felt different already. I was amongst friends and a general excitement filled the air. I couldn't wait for the next. Last night I was shocked that the year was over. It was full of so many firsts: graduation, England, Scotland, Germany, Switzerland, new friends, learning to make true cups of tea, eating haggis and black pudding, fish and chips, new worlds explored, cultural immersion, everything. I spent the last hours lamenting the end of such a good year and wandering what could be in store for the next. I spent the last few minutes praising God for who He is, for his many blessing, and praying fervently for the Holy Spirit to descend on this spiritual dead and dry land. In Cambridge. With Becca and Tom Green, two people I least expected but love dearly. But still, I find myself unenthusiastic. Maybe it's because of the decisions that will have to be made soon. Maybe it's because I'm so emotionally stretched I can't think of anything. Maybe it's because I'm being superstitious and loony. But whatever it is, I'm giving it to God. Being independent is a hard step. And I'm truly realizing what it means.